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Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in Dorothy's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, March 6th, 2002
9:12 pm
When things go wrong
Haven't updated for a while... I need to do it now.
I never thought a boy could make me cry. Well, I'm crying now. Because of a boy. Because of Josh.
At the beginning, being lazy was fun. He was always sleepy and I'd be teasing him about it. But it's getting serious... I mean, we were laying in my bed, talking about serious stuff this afternoon, and he fell asleep right in the middle of our conversation. I got up and walked away. And cried. I used to think I was strong. I don't think I am anymore.
I went back to clubbing and drinking. That's a proof of how much of a loser I am. I don't deserve everything I've got.
All I wanted was a caring boyfriend. Lasting longer than a month. Or maybe I just don't deserve it...
I miss our walks on the beach, I miss playing hide-and-seek and tag with him, I miss the passionate kisses he used to give me. I miss everything.
...I just hope he reads this. Without falling asleep.

Current Mood: sad
Monday, February 11th, 2002
6:35 pm
Shout outs
Laurie: Hey girl! Hope everything's going great with Chad. You're the most involved one in the group and I admire you for that. You're the workaholic I wish I could be.

Josh: You're the greatest lapdancer! What else can I say? *laughs* I love you!

Jake and Janie: All my thoughts are with you guys. I wish you the best of luck in everything. Jake, get well soon!

Mandy: I owe you some baby goldfish! *giggles* We should hang out sometime soon. You rock!

...that was my shout outs! If I forgot you, I'm really sorry. I'll catch up next time!

xxx Dorothy

Current Mood: hot
Sunday, February 10th, 2002
4:55 pm
I love shopping!
Hey! I wanna show you guys what I bought today! *click here* I went a little crazy with my credit card... But it's all worth it. I look pretty hot in those clothes! *giggles* Tell me what you think!

xxx Dorothy

Current Mood: satisfied
2:05 pm
Today is a brighter day
Hey everybody! I'm feeling good today. I'm all hype and giggly... I hope it's gonna last! Yesterday night, I fell asleep on the couch, in Josh's arms. It felt awesome. I don't think I'm ruining his life anymore. I know he loves me and he knows I love him. Everything's perfect. My heart is safe.

I think I'm gonna go shopping. (Yup. Again!) I guess that's the shopaholic in me! *laughs* This time, I'll buy myself some gifts. Don't I deserve them? Hell yeah!

xxx Dorothy

Current Mood: giggly
Saturday, February 9th, 2002
1:43 pm
V-Day presents...
I also found some gifts for my friends...

For Laurie

For Jake

For my other girl friends

For my other guy friends

Hope you guys like your gifts! (Josh, you'll have yours Thursday night.)

xxx Dorothy
11:18 am
Bad time
I was having a blast with Josh, yesterday, when he decided to go out while I was in the shower... And he was still away when I fell asleep. I was a little angry. I had to wake up early to go to the hospital for my abortion, today. It was the worst feeling ever. I NEVER wanna go through this again. NEVER.

Now, I'm back at the house and Josh is gone (again). Why is he doing this? I think I might be ruining his life.

Current Mood: frustrated
Thursday, February 7th, 2002
2:02 pm
Back from the hospital
I went to see my doctor and we talked about the abortion. It was sad. Luckily, Laurie was there to support me mentally. [I owe you one, girl!] Anyways, the abortion is set for Saturday morning. I'm scared because I have to go alone. I hope it won't take long. I hate hospitals...

xxx Dorothy

Current Mood: worried
12:24 pm
To the one I love...
I was feeling romantic this morning so I wrote this little poem for you, Josh. I love you!



In everything I do

You're in my heart, my soul

Everything I do is through you

Every time I breathe, I take you in

Whenever I listen, I hear your voice

Everywhere I look, I see your face

When I walk, I walk in your footsteps

You are the reason I can fly

My inspiration

Everything I stand for

I found you


Current Mood: loved
Wednesday, February 6th, 2002
5:16 pm
Big decision
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their support. I know who my real friends are... I went back to the doctor this afternoon to take a pregnancy test and it was positive. And I talked to Josh: I won't keep the baby. I'll go for an abortion. I've never thought I'd say that. It's sad... I feel cruel but I'm not ready for parenthood yet. I don't think I need to say more.

xxx Dorothy

Current Mood: sad
Monday, February 4th, 2002
6:16 pm
I need help...
I don't know what to do. I just got back from the doctor's office and he said that I might be pregnant. I'm scared to take a pregnancy test. I don't wanna be pregnant. I'm scared to tell Josh. Please guys, I need your help... What should I do?

xxx Dorothy

Current Mood: distressed
8:04 am
I'm back
Our little promotional weekend was a blast. I love meeting my fans! Unfortunately, I couldn't hang out with them because I was sick (and I still am). I going to see a doctor today. I hope it's nothing serious... Josh is still taking good care of me (even though I got a little mad at him yesterday for flirting with Britney at the Teen Magazine party). Anyway, I'll post tonight to tell you guys what's wrong with me, ok? Catch up later!

xxx Dorothy

Current Mood: sick
Thursday, January 31st, 2002
10:47 pm
Packing up for some travelling...
Hey guys! How are y'all doing? I'm still sick. But I don't care, we're gonna do some promotion and that'll cheer me up. You know, seeing all the wonderful fans makes me happy. We're leaving tomorrow morning and we'll be back Sunday night. This is our travelling plan:

-Friday: Texas (Dallas *Josh's hometown*, Houston and Austin)

-Saturday: California (L.A. and San Francisco) + Las Vegas, NV

-Sunday: NYC

That's about it. I'll post Sunday, when we'll be back. By the way, have a great party at Jake's new house!

Dorothy

Current Mood: sick
Monday, January 28th, 2002
1:18 am
The best evening of my life!
Hey guys! I had a hell of a night! :o) First of all, I chatted with Jake and we apologized. So we're friends now. And then, I got up-close and personal with the love of my life, Josh. (I love you baby!) I'm not telling more about it: come on, it's personal! Anyway, we talked a little about getting married. But we're still young so I don't wanna go there yet. I'm feeling good about our relationship, though. I think it's gonna last. Well, I hope you guys had a good weekend! See you later!

Dorothy

Current Mood: loved
Monday, January 21st, 2002
6:58 pm
Hi everyone!
Hey, I'm Dorothy, from the new group Scene 23. I'm single! That's about it...
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